Seeking quiet in the midst of chaos

   This is an adaptation of a message the staff presented entitled "Attitudes that Shape A Christian Life" in February 2010 - I presented this section as a dialogue between God and myself:

    "May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit." (Romans 15:13, NIV)

      Really God? PEACE? Really? Who has time for peace? We've got a baby that, for some reason, can't seem to sleep through the night, diapers to change, mouths to feed, dirty dishes that seem to magically reproduce in the sink, and the trash!! Who knew that adding two children multiplies your garbage by ten times! There always seems like there's more to do! I mean, don't get me wrong, God, I love them tons and wouldn't trade them for anything and I know that they are a gift from you, so you, more than anyone else, should see how unreasonable this whole peace thing is. I mean if children aren't enough then there is my marriage to keep working on, chores to do, church responsibilities, programs to plan, staff, and coordinate; phone calls to take, emails and text messages to respond to…and I don't have near the stuff on my plate that these people do. How do I talk about peace to them? Some of them have four kids! What were they thinking? They have basketball practice, gymnastics, piano lessons, voice lessons, grocery shopping, house cleaning, meals to prepare, grandkids to visit, doctors appointments to juggle, community leagues, community clubs, board and committee meetings, businesses to run, games to attend, aging parents to take care of,…hang on…my phone's ringing. Eh...I can call them back later. Where was I? Oh yeah! laundry…piles and piles of laundry, home improvement projects, classes to attend, grades to keep up, scholarships to apply for, reports to be filed, TV shows to watch (you can't miss an episode you know - or you'll never be able to catch up on the plot), lessons to plan, homework to grade, church, Sunday School, and then I am asking them to be Sunday School teachers, small group leaders, and volunteer to feed a houseful of students! How do I talk to them about peace when it's hard for me and I don't have half of that stuff to do?

     When I do try to find peace why does it feel like you're not even around sometimes? Why can't I hear you? I try to take time everyday to read some of your Word… sure, yeah it's at the end of the day and I do usually fall asleep, but still…you could talk other times of the day…. I know there's always music playing… It helps me stay focused. I just use it to drown out the noise around me….What?... No, I don't think it drowns you out too. I mean…I don't think it does…does it? Yeah, I know that verse…we just sang a song about it. Sure I'll look it up."Be still, and know that I am God…" (Psalm 46:10a)

      Okay…I can see you're not really listening. When do I have time to "be still?" Didn't you hear me tell you everything that we have to do? By the time we get all of this done, we are barely able to crawl into bed! I don't have time to slow down…I have people that depend on me…they need me. Don't you get that?

      Oh, I guess you do, huh? It's just that it's hard to say no to things. It's hard to agree upon, set, and enforce family priorities so that I can have time to just be still. I know it has to be done. Even when I do slow down and take time to "be still" with you all the stresses in my life take over my mind. It's one thing to slow my body down, but then my mind is a totally different story. I  imagine it's the same for them. All these worries rush to our minds. Is my marriage going to survive this? Are my kids going to turn out all right? How do I tell my wife that I just lost my job? My 401K is tanking…what are we going to do? My new supervisor is unbearable…I can't work with them for another minute. Cancer? What do you mean cancer? Failing health. Unpaid bills. Kids in college. College debt. How can we have peace when all I feel is chaos?

      Yeah, I remember that verse. "Be still…" we covered that already. I read it remember? What other part? Oh…there is more. "Be still, and know that I am God…" (Psalm 46:10a) "know that I am God" You know I like that job right? It's tough to let you be God. I want to solve my family, financial, and work worries. If I am in charge then I know what's going to happen next…I mean, kind of…well no…I really don't know. I just don't want to let go. Maybe because I am afraid of where you might lead or what you might want me to do. Not that I don't know that you want what's best for me, but that maybe I don't want the same thing. Why can't I trust you all the time? Why do I allow the things of this world that are really so small just suck the joy out of life? You've been doing this God thing longer than I've been doing life. You've known what you've been doing before there was anything to be done. Lord, help me. Help me have the strength and faith; help me trust you no matter the circumstances; help me find joy in those circumstances; and grant me peace knowing that you alone are God, you alone are worthy of being the Lord of my life, that you alone know what is best for me and my family.